Pitiful Reluctance

I step from the pig’s pen
into the shower,
trying to wash the grime
from my skin.
A useless act,
for the grime has become a part of me.
It is the essence of who I am,
that part of me
which guides my decisions,
turns my head
to walk down unforgiving paths,
causes me to make seemingly new
and better choice
only to find the destination the same.
My soul of grime,
my life of unfulfilled dreams.
I have never bothered
to truly care enough to achieve.
Sorry for myself,
that is what I am,
so pitifully sorry for myself;
and somehow unwilling
to do what must be done.

Written March 1, 2012


5 thoughts on “Pitiful Reluctance

  1. Jill,

    Some of my best stuff (or so says others) has come to me straight from the wallow. To the point where I've asked myself, “can I actually write when I'm happy?”

    I guess it's time to find out.


  2. Many people seem to write more when they are unhappy… normally, I clam up at that point and either write very angry or don't write at all. It's good practice for me to write when I'm down. I'm usually happiest when I write dark poetry and that's when I'm more focused and happy in life. I don't think that means I'm a dark person… I just write dark easier and more freely than happy go-lucky stuff. Either that or I'm writing 'longing for someone' or 'sensual desire' stuff. lol


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